She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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