That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
