I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is the high leading the old right now
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
