Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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