If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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