Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize