you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so let's talk penis.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
