You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
