so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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