It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
