dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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