Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
