I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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