I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Farmville is her only friend.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
