Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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