ya dads aren't the best wingmen
id be glad to
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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