Having a random hookup so left but love u
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
