There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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