i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
