ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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