I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
