Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
