It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
