Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize