it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
