its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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