Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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