is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
