drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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