I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Randomize
