Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
