So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
