walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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