I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
