Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
