i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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