So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
