a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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