have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
