i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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