Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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