Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
