I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
