i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
