We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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