well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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