She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
