This girl is more easily done than said...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
