You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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