Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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