i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
