So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize