They should really pass out barf bags in church
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
