he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
