I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
