You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
